


Demoman Ships

by DeckofDragons



Series: TF2 Shipping Challenge (With Some Bonus SpyDad) [9]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Demoman POV, Fluff, M/M, Shipping Challenge, one shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-24 14:19:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19725400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeckofDragons/pseuds/DeckofDragons
Summary: A one shot of each Demoman ship.





	1. Medic - Surprise/Shock

By this point Demo would’ve thought there was nothing more Medic could do that would surprise him. He was insane so doing crazy batshit things was the norm for him, one became desensitized to it after a while. But occasionally Medic did something that surpassed even his own insanity.

“I combined magic and science to create them,” Medic explained with a grin. He was practically bouncing with glee as if he hadn’t just possibly set in motion the events that would end the world. “If they bite another living person the disease even spreads.”

“You are aware right that you might’ve just started the zombie apocalypse, right?” Demo said, unable to look away from the literal caged zombies, three of them. They were even making moaning gurgling sounds in the back of their throats as they clawed at the bars of their cages. He would’ve thought they were just actors in special makeup to look like rotting corpses if anyone other than Medic had said they were zombies.

“Eh, perhaps, who knows?” Medic shrugged, uncaring about the fate of the world as long as he got to do his insane science shit. “So what do you think?”

Demo took a long drink from his beer before replying. “I love you but you’re fucking insane, that’s what I think. I guess it’s kind of cool though in a ‘this is super fucked up’ kind of way. And I suppose if they get out we could just blow them up and them boom, no more zombies.”

“Ha! I knew you’d see reason. This is a _fantastic_ breakthrough, as far as I’m aware combining science and magic successfully has never been done before. I’m the _first_ to do it.”

“Congrats.” Genuinely happy for him, Demo gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Can you show me how you did it?” Biological science wasn’t something he knew much about but no scientific person in their right mind wouldn’t be interested in learning more about this regardless of their area of expertise. It was something that was supposed to be entirely fictional, confined to cheesy books and movies.

“Of course.” Medic threw a large black cloth over the cages, the zombies inside fell silent almost immediately. He then patted Demo’s shoulder saying, “Follow me,” before starting back for the front of his lab. “I’ll show you how it’s done and then you’re going to help me experiment further. We’ll get Engie too maybe because we need to see just how many ways we can use magic in conjunction with science to do something unheard of in _both_ realms.”

“Ooh, I’m totally down for that,” Demo said, following. He couldn’t think of a more interesting way to spend his evening.


	2. Soldier - Roomates/Sharing a Room

“I haven’t had a roommate since Merasmus,” Soldier said as they stepped into the room they’d now be sharing as part of their home. “This is going to be fun.”

Demo put down the box of bedroom stuff he’d been carrying to look at him. “You know I somehow keep forgetting you and him used to be roommates. How’d that even happen?”

Soldier was silent for a few seconds before replying. “I don’t remember. It just kind of happened.”

“Eh, whatever.” Demo shrugged as they started unpacking. In hindsight they probably should’ve gotten the bedroom ready first or second after the kitchen instead of last. It was late and he was tired. Too late now though. “Also uh, do me a favor please, don’t invite any raccoons in to live with us.”

“Why not?”

Because Demo had seen the state of Soldier’s room back on the base, his raccoon had torn it apart. Luckily said raccoon had escaped back into the wild about a month ago when Soldier had taken it out for a walk – it had been a very sad few thing for him – so they didn’t have to deal with it here. “Because uh… we going to get a cat or dog and raccoons don’t get along with cats and dogs.” That was true, right? Demo had heard that somewhere though he couldn’t remember exactly where.

“Oh, that’s sad. Why don’t they like each other?”

“I don’t know, they just don’t. And we don’t want to put them through that stress, right?”

Soldier thought about it for a few seconds before sighing. “No, we do not.” He looked back up at Demo as they pulled the bed sheets on over the bed together. “But when will we get a pet? Soon?”

“Whenever you like.” They’d discussed pets many times before, it wasn’t even a question about whether or not they’d get one now that they had a place all their own but a question of what kind of pet they’d get. It was up to Demo to make sure it wasn’t a wild animal because in Soldier’s eyes _any_ animal no matter how unfriendly would make a good pet. It was cute and endearing but also potentially very dangerous.

“We will get one tomorrow then. And it will be the greatest pet ever.”

“All right, tomorrow it is then. I think we drove by an animal shelter on our way into town.” Honestly, Demo was eager to get a pet too. Animals were nice.

“ _Fantastic_!”


	3. Engie - Exhaustion

Hangovers were the _worst_. Demo was tempted to find another bottle of scotch and drink until he couldn’t feel his head anymore. But if he did that again Medic would probably have his head. Literally if it resulted in his death either via dehydration, alcohol poisoning, or drunken accident, the latter being the most likely.

So, instead he drank the bottled water Engie had left for him on the nightstand, using it to help down a couple pain pills left next to it. He maybe felt a bit better afterwards. Enough that he could stumble out of bed and get dressed.

After a stop by the kitchen to acquire a few slices of half burnt toast – the way he liked it – for breakfast he headed for Engie’s workshop. Engie was of course there and working on something. It was the weekend so it was one of his personal projects that Demo knew next to nothing about.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Demo asked as he closed the door behind him.

Engie grunted, not looking up from his work. “It’s going I guess. How you feeling after last night?”

“Exhausted, hung over, and uh… all around terrible. Nothing new there though.” He walked closer to look over the machine – or whatever it was – laid out over Engie’s work table. He still couldn’t tell what it was. “Did anything happen last night. I don’t remember.”

“I know you don’t. But nothing happened, you just got drunk and passed out and I put you bed.” Engie finally looked up to reach for his coffee. He had bags under his eyes, he’d been up all night again. “You really need to stop doing that, it ain’t good for you.”

“Well yes but…” Demo grimaced, unable to meet his gaze. He’d been knowing for ages now that he needed to stop but had never been able to, had never _really_ wanted to. Being in a romantic relationship should give him ample reason too though, right? But it hadn’t helped and now Engie was bringing it up officially for the first time when he was fully sober and really it was rather hypocritical of him considering his own unhealthy habits that were currently on display. “You’re one to talk. How much sleep you get last night?”

Engie flinched, grimacing as it sunk in just how much he’d been called out. “Uh… none. I couldn’t sleep though so I just… came out here to do this instead.”

“Yeah, and I couldn’t stop drinking so I just kept doing it.”

“It ain’t the same.”

“Maybe it ain’t the exact same but if I got to quit drinking then you got to quit pulling all-nighters or staying up until stupid o’clock in the morning, especially on days we got battle. It ain’t healthy.” Arguing about this when they were both exhausted maybe wasn’t the smartest since that meant it could easily turn into a full fight but it was too late now.

Engie stared at him in silence, visibly displeased, probably thinking of saying something not nice back. But instead he let out a heavy sigh. “Welp, looks we both got bad habits, huh? How ‘bout we make a deal? You stop drinking and I stop missing so much sleep.” Leave it to Engie to deescalate a situation before it got too bad _and_ come up with a solution to the problem at the same time.

“Sounds like a good deal to me. We can hold each other accountable.”

Demo offered his hand and Engie shook it, sealing the deal. It’d be difficult, probably for both of them, but with a little bit of help they could do it. Maybe that’s all they’d needed this whole time, someone to help them stop their bad habit.


	4. Pyro - Dancing

Demo had never been invited to a wedding before for reasons that were probably obvious. He hadn’t been missing out on much though. He was _happy_ for Scout and Sniper without a doubt but having to sit there completely sober throughout the _entire_ ceremony just about had him ready to pull out his own hair. But for their sake he put up with it, somehow.

His reward for pulling that off was making it to the after party, or reception, or whatever it was called. And there was _alcohol_! It was in the form of spiked punch and far weaker than he would’ve liked but it was better than nothing.

Despite that, he was starting to feel tipsy when the dancing started. All of Scout’s extended family were there, making the whole event and dance floor a bit crowded. Thus, he didn’t plan to join in until…

“Want to dance?” Pyro asked, sounding excited through his mask. He’d been almost just as antsy throughout the ceremony as Demo. It wasn’t surprising that he’d jump at the chance to be active. There was no way Demo could decline given his excitement.

So, he quickly downed the rest of his drink and tossed the empty cup into the trashcan. “Sure, let’s dance,” he said, holding out his hand for Pyro to take. He did so and they went to the dancefloor together.

“You ever slow dance before?” Demo asked, pausing them just off dancefloor. It was a wedding and that’s the kind of dance everyone was doing. That was also the only kind of dance that would fit to the music playing.

Pyro thought about it for a second or two before shaking his head ‘no’. “Is it hard?”

“Nah, just follow my lead. I ain’t that good though, just so you know, it’s been a long time since I practiced.” He guided Pyro’s hand to his shoulder, placing his own hand on Pyro’s lower back, their other hands grasping each other. Then, not letting himself think too much about it – doing so would result in stumbling and possibly falling – he started them swaying and spinning.

It was about as awkward and uncomfortable as one would expect slow dancing with someone dressed in a big bulky fireproof suit to be. It didn’t help that neither of them were coordinated. But they eventually got a sort of rhythm going despite that.

Pyro mumbled something that his mask rendered unintelligible. His tone was excited though and he was bouncing a little so clearly, he was having fun. That’s what mattered most.


	5. Scout - Thrill (Speed, Danger, Daring)

“You sure this isn’t going to kill me?” Scout asked, looking back at Demo.

“A hundred percent,” Demo answered with his best reassuring smile. Whether or not it would injure him – and if so, how bad it’d be – was yet to be seen. “I’m a professional so you don’t got to worry, ‘kay? Now you ready?”

“Uh… yeah, go for it.”

Demo pressed the button on the detonator, setting off the explosives taped and arranged meticulously on the back of the metal sled Scout had strapped his legs to, sitting on it. It shot forward and down the snow covered slope it had been perched atop, going _far_ faster than any sled was designed to.

Demo chuckled as he watched it go. Its momentum carried it across the frozen pond at the bottom of the hill and straight into… a tree. It collided with enough force to shake the snow from the top branches, most of it landing with in a heap on Scout.

Suddenly grimacing instead, Demo ran down to him. “You all right laddie?”

Scout grunted as he pushed some the snow off. He looked dazed but otherwise uninjured as he freed his legs. He stood, shaking off more snow, a bit unsteady on his feet. “That was _awesome_!” he said with a large excited grin. “Other than for the whole crashing part anyway. We _have_ to do that again. Both of us this time on a bigger sled. It fucking _rules_.”

Demo almost let out a sigh of relief, he’d been worried for a moment there. But all was good other than for the sled which now had a dent in it and Scout would probably be sore later but he’d live. “All right, let’s do it again.”

“ _Sweet_! I’ll help you set it up. Let’s go.” Scout ran off towards the base, dragging the busted sled behind him by its string, leaving Demo to run after him.


	6. Sniper - Sharing

“Ah, come on, sharing is caring, _please_.” Demo was pathetic for begging – especially considering who he was begging to – but who cared? He _needed_ a drink; he’d literally be willing to kill for one right now.

Sniper frowned at him. “I told you mate; they took my stash too.”

Demo groaned. This alcohol ban Miss Pauling and the Administrator put in place was _hell_. How did they expect them to function without booze? They’d _promised_ they wouldn’t get so rowdy anymore, wasn’t that good enough? And it had only been half team – yes, he was part of that half – why punish the whole team? … So, the half that had caused the problem couldn’t get booze from the other half. A smart move but still super unfair.

“Surely you got some hidden away in your camper somewhere. Maybe something you’d forgot?” At this point Demo would be willing to drink hot beer that had gone flat.

“Nope. If anyone managed to hide some away from Pauling, it’d be Spy.” He most likely had to too, Spy was an expert at stuff like that. “But he ain’t the type to share. Sorry.” Sniper shrugged. “Why don’t you come in and hang out though, get your mind off it.”

With a sigh, Demo followed him into the campervan, pulling the door closed behind him. He’d always liked it in Sniper’s campervan, it felt homey and inviting. He slept out here more often than not these days. And there was _normally_ booze. Ugh.

“Checkers?” Sniper asked as he pulled out the game board from his top cupboard.

“Eh, why not?” It’s not like Demo had anything better to do.

They settled down at the table across from each other and started playing. Normally when they played checkers or any similar game, they drank beer. They didn’t _need_ that though, spending time together was enough, right?

“And uh… look at it this way,” Sniper said halfway through their first game. “You’ve been talking about maybe quitting for a while now, right? Maybe this is a good time to start.”

Demo groaned. “You’re right, I hate it but you are. I got to quit. I wasn’t planning on going cold turkey though.” He’d been starting to ease himself out of it, making an effort to drink less both in terms of quantity and how often he did so. His relationship with Sniper had helped a lot with that. “Maybe this is for the best though.”

“Good way to look at it.”

“I’m still going toss a glitter bomb into Miss Pauling’s office later though, got to get some vengeance for this. I already sent Scout out with Pyro and Engie to get the glitter.” He’d make one to set off in the Administrator’s office too but she was scarier than Pauling and he had no idea where her office was.

“Uh… sure mate, you do you. Try not to let her kill you though, ‘kay?”

“I’ll be fine.” Probably. She wouldn’t kill him over something like that and she’d know why it had been done and therefore why she deserved it. Until then, Demo would just chill with Sniper here and try not to think about how much he needed a drink.


	7. Spy - Secrets and Lies

“How many fucking secret identities do you have?” Demo asked, looking up from the box of fake passports and other official documentation he’d found under Spy’s bed to look at Spy sitting on the bed, watching him.

“Twenty-one,” he replied without skipping a beat. “In that box anyway. The others I’ve retired and destroyed the documentation for.”

“How do you keep track of all of it.” Demo could barely keep track of himself let alone trying to juggle anything even remotely like this. Then again though, he was a drunkard.

“I just do, it’s one of my talents.” His tone implied he thought he had many talents. Which he did so he was probably justified in being a bit smug.

Demo took one last baffled look into the box before closing it with a sigh. He then placed it on the floor and used his foot to push it back under the bed. “What about this?” He gestured towards Spy. “Is whoever you’re trying to be now a lie too? This just another false identity of yours?” Demo had wondered that ever since their first meeting. Was any part of Spy genuine? Was what _they_ had genuine? Or had Spy wrapped himself up in secrets and lies and that’s what Demo had fallen in love with?

Spy raised his eyebrows underneath the mask, intrigued. “No,” he said sounding a bit hesitant. “This is one of the few instances in which I’m not wearing any disguise, physical or otherwise.”

Demo could’ve chosen to question the truth of that statement and many people would’ve, perhaps smartly too, but he wasn’t going to. They’d known each other for years and been dating for almost a full year now, Spy wouldn’t lie to him about something like that while looking him in the eye. “All right,” he said with a shrug as he stood up. “Now let’s get something to drink and play some chess, huh?” He bent down and reached under the table to pull out the correct box this time, the one with the chess stuff in it.

“Wait,” Spy said from behind him as he started setting up on the tea table. “You’re really just going to accept that answer without even asking to see my face?”

“Yup.” Demo didn’t even bother turning to look at him. “You’ll show me your face when you’re good and ready to, I ain’t going to ask you to. Now what kind of fancy-pants wine do we want to drink while we play?”

“Uh… red’s good.”

Demo went over to Spy’s wine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of red wine and two wine glasses. They were the fancy crystal kind that somehow hadn’t broken over the years and numerous transports between base. That or Spy replaced them as soon as one got broken.

When he turned back to the table, Spy was already seated at his side. Something was off though, he’d… taken of his mask! Demo could see his real face!

“Uh… what do you think?”

Demo jerked back into motion. “Didn’t expect that,” he said as he set the wine and wine glasses onto the table and sat down. He’d let Spy handle the pouring as he was much better at it and always complained about the way Demo poured it when he tried to.

“Well, it was about time I showed you so I figured why not?” A lot of the visible tension left Spy’s body as he poured them both some wine, somehow managing to get the level of wine in each glass exactly the same. “This is the real me.”

Demo grinned at him. “Love you.”

“Love you too. Now let’s play.”


	8. Heavy - Own Bed

“What’s the smaller bed for?” Demo asked, eying the smaller bed placed right next to Heavy’s big bed. It was too small for anyone who wasn’t a small child or a dog.

“Is for Sasha,” Heavy replied as he walked over and did indeed place his massive minigun onto the small bed. He even took the blanket folded up at the foot and pulled it up to cover the cover, leaving only the barrels exposed, as if tucking in a child.

“Eh, would you look at that.” Demo shrugged. He’d seen a lot of weird things in his life, especially since he’d started working for RED, a gun with its own bed and getting tucked in was almost normal in comparison. Heck, if Heavy wanted to put makeup and/or clothes on his gun Demo wouldn’t question it or even be surprised.

Heavy studied him as if looking for a different reaction before shrugging too. He then turned to his cupboard and pulled out a bottle of vodka. The _good_ stuff that one could only get from Russia, Demo’s mouth watered just looking at it. “We’re not drinking all of it,” Heavy said, pinning him with a stare as if reading his mind. “Is expensive.”

“Yeah, I know, I know.” When it came to other people’s stashes of alcohol, Demo was always more careful anyway. It was the polite thing to do even if it was difficult. “Now come on, let’s have some fun.”


End file.
